Each new year brings with it new challenges, troubles and concerns, as well as new opportunities, new relationships, etc. One perennial activity is making New Year’s resolutions, promising to get rid of some behavior, habit, issue and so on, in an attempt to make life better.
People resolve to give up smoking, drinking, credit cards and a myriad of other issues, in order to become a healthier or happier person. People sometimes make resolutions that are designed to make changes in another person. Such resolutions are obviously doomed from the outset, since most of us have a terrible time changing ourselves, much less having dominion over the thoughts and actions of others
There are many approaches to New Year resolutions. One site suggests that people either not make resolutions, or only make resolutions that are easily kept, so as to avoid harming our self-esteem if we fail.
Another site suggests that you deliberately make resolutions that you cannot possibly keep, opining that the value is in the struggle-not in whether or not you succeed. That may sound profound and ’deep’, but I have not seen evidence that struggle, itself, builds more character and self-esteem than conquering bad or unproductive areas of one’s life. Another websites suggests a daily steps to as reminder of your New Year’s resolution, like a 12-step program.
Basically, a resolution is a promise to rid one’s self of some habit or characteristic that keeps one from being a better person, and a new year seems like the logical time to make such life changes. Resolutions should be made with a goal of doing the right thing by replacing bad habits with right-living. If the bad behavior is not replaced with good behavior, it is a recipe for failure.
For instance, if I resolve not to be greedy anymore, I am more likely to succeed it I replace the greed with empathy and assistance to the less fortunate. This takes the focus off of me and places it on helping others, which is the opposite of greed.
Our human nature makes it nearly impossible to follow through on resolutions because we all face daily temptation. The Bible tells us we cannot save ourselves from sin or temptation. If we succeed in overcoming a bad habit, another will replace it, or is already there, waiting to come to the fore.
So, how can we succeed in overcoming a bad habit or sin issue in our lives? Alone, we cannot. God, in His infinite wisdom, knew our plight, and that, on our own, we cannot remove one bad habit or sin, or do enough good to pay for one sin. He sent His Son to pay the price for our sin.
We can remove the grip of sin in our lives only when we realize it has already been dealt with and paid for. All we have to do is to accept the free gift from Him who paid for our sins with His body and blood. The Bible also says we have to ‘put to death the old sinful man’ on a daily basis. We can do this if we daily confess our sins and acknowledge that we cannot overcome them alone, but we must lean on Him, and trust the He can deliver us from the bondage of sin and bad habits. Philippians 4 says, “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Resolve to trust in Christ alone, and He will help you to succeed in getting rid of bad habits and becoming a better person. See more of James J Jackson's columns at www.amyfound.ogr
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Conventional Wisdom Fails Every Time
On a recent TV show, a sociologist said that, since there is no ‘effective’ manual for child rearing, we must rely on “conventional wisdom” in child-rearing. When I was young, parents taught kids life-sustaining lessons and gave them a moral compass by which to live. They instilled core values and gave boundaries to help kids make sound life decisions. Honesty, integrity and the pursuit of excellence were expected. Keeping one’s word, and doing right, even when no one is looking was a consistent lesson.
Youth were taught that rights come with responsibility, and that taking an oath was a very serious matter. Today, a good reputation isn’t considered as valuable as it once was. Today, people who lie under oath and demonstrate self-defeating behavior are often viewed as icons. Kids were taught that actions have consequences. Today, conventional wisdom is to provide programs and excuses to help youth avoid consequences, which often prohibits the person from learning valuable lessons they could learn from facing the consequences of their actions.
Conventional wisdom says that everyone has the right to do as he or she pleases. When consequences arise, conventional wisdom labels the person a ‘victim’. Programs like needle exchange and free condoms are offered to avoid consequences and allow the person to continue in dangerous, self-defeating behaviors. Conventional wisdom believes so-called ’Social Promotion’ of failing students protects self-esteem, but experience shows that it only produces people with a dead-end attitude and no basic job skills.
My parents warned us that illegal, dangerous behavior would severely limit our ability to take care of ourselves, and that we would have no one to blame but ourselves. They promised they would not bail us out of consequences of our bad choice, and that bad life choices only lead to poverty, jail, poor health, and even death, so we should choose wisely. We grew up drug free and crime free.
They used old sayings to help teach us, like ‘If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again’, Today, conventional wisdom tells us, ‘If your bad choices block your success, stop trying, and you won’t be held responsibility. Instead of a little ‘tough love’, here’s a program‘.
Today‘s flawed “new morality” creates new concepts like ‘situational ethics (which says that each person determines right and wrong for themselves), What’s wrong for you may not be wrong for me; there are no absolutes, and other such nonsense. Anyone who promotes values and standards is considered ‘intolerant’. Schools mistakenly believe they can instill self-esteem in kids without self-control, self-respect, honesty or honor.
Every person inherently knows that it is wrong to participate in self-defeating behaviors, or to fail to seek excellence in school and in life. To do so results failure, defeat and the loss of a sense of self-worth, instead of the intended increase in self-esteem. By contrast, a child who tries hard to master subjects, plays by the rules and treats others properly does not need special treatment to bring about good self-esteem. It is a by-product of hard work and achievement.
Conventional wisdom operates from our failed human perspective, which tells us that there is no effective manual available for raising good children, enjoying happy marriages and enjoying a fulfilled, happy life, but there is. It’s called The Bible, which tells us to “Raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from It“. It also includes precise guidelines for every area of life, and it is full of love. It works. Research it for yourself.
Youth were taught that rights come with responsibility, and that taking an oath was a very serious matter. Today, a good reputation isn’t considered as valuable as it once was. Today, people who lie under oath and demonstrate self-defeating behavior are often viewed as icons. Kids were taught that actions have consequences. Today, conventional wisdom is to provide programs and excuses to help youth avoid consequences, which often prohibits the person from learning valuable lessons they could learn from facing the consequences of their actions.
Conventional wisdom says that everyone has the right to do as he or she pleases. When consequences arise, conventional wisdom labels the person a ‘victim’. Programs like needle exchange and free condoms are offered to avoid consequences and allow the person to continue in dangerous, self-defeating behaviors. Conventional wisdom believes so-called ’Social Promotion’ of failing students protects self-esteem, but experience shows that it only produces people with a dead-end attitude and no basic job skills.
My parents warned us that illegal, dangerous behavior would severely limit our ability to take care of ourselves, and that we would have no one to blame but ourselves. They promised they would not bail us out of consequences of our bad choice, and that bad life choices only lead to poverty, jail, poor health, and even death, so we should choose wisely. We grew up drug free and crime free.
They used old sayings to help teach us, like ‘If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again’, Today, conventional wisdom tells us, ‘If your bad choices block your success, stop trying, and you won’t be held responsibility. Instead of a little ‘tough love’, here’s a program‘.
Today‘s flawed “new morality” creates new concepts like ‘situational ethics (which says that each person determines right and wrong for themselves), What’s wrong for you may not be wrong for me; there are no absolutes, and other such nonsense. Anyone who promotes values and standards is considered ‘intolerant’. Schools mistakenly believe they can instill self-esteem in kids without self-control, self-respect, honesty or honor.
Every person inherently knows that it is wrong to participate in self-defeating behaviors, or to fail to seek excellence in school and in life. To do so results failure, defeat and the loss of a sense of self-worth, instead of the intended increase in self-esteem. By contrast, a child who tries hard to master subjects, plays by the rules and treats others properly does not need special treatment to bring about good self-esteem. It is a by-product of hard work and achievement.
Conventional wisdom operates from our failed human perspective, which tells us that there is no effective manual available for raising good children, enjoying happy marriages and enjoying a fulfilled, happy life, but there is. It’s called The Bible, which tells us to “Raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from It“. It also includes precise guidelines for every area of life, and it is full of love. It works. Research it for yourself.
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